When was the last time you landed on a website and thought, “This isn’t for me?” Two seconds later, you’re already clicking the X.
It’s not always the design. Sometimes the colors look great, the photos are gorgeous… but something still feels off. Nine times out of ten, it’s the story. This could be happening on your website right now. Your services are amazing, but your copy might be accidentally sending people running.
Nearly seven years in TV news taught me how to spot when a story loses people in seconds. And websites make the same mistakes. Here are four storytelling mistakes that cost businesses clients — and how to fix them.
Mistake #1: Your homepage sounds like a LinkedIn profile
You’ve earned those credentials. The certifications hanging on your wall are valid. But opening your site with “Award-winning consultant with 15 years in business” is basically telling visitors to keep scrolling.
Clients don’t care about your gold stars in the first five seconds. Instead, they care about one thing: can you solve the problem that’s keeping them up at night?”
- Instead of: “Certified coach since 2010”
- Try: “Finally stick to workouts that don’t feel like punishment, even if you’ve quit a dozen times before”
One is about you. The other is about your audience.
Mistake #2: Playing it way too safe
Every good story needs a little drama. (Think about it: would you binge-watch a show where everyone’s happy all the time? Nope.)
But so many websites serve up vanilla lines like: “We help you succeed in business.”
It’s nice… but forgettable. As a result, people move on.
What makes people stop scrolling are the what if moments:
- “Because your wedding day deserves more than a camera roll full of blurry iPhone shots”
- “No more 2 a.m. panic wondering if your retirement fund is enough”
Suddenly your service feels urgent instead of optional.
Mistake #3: Getting lost in the features weeds
Nobody hires you for “10 coaching calls and a PDF workbook.”
Rather, what people actually want to buy is the transformation.
- Before: Piecing together strategies from free YouTube videos and still not booking clients.
- After: A clear message that sells for you, even when you’re binge-watching Netflix.
The before-and-after is what gets people to hit “work with me.”
Mistake #4: Writing at people instead of with people
The best websites feel like you’re chatting with a friend who just happens to know their stuff.
Think about it like this:
- Reader’s brain: “But does this work for my industry?”
- Your copy: “Yep, I’ve worked with real estate agents, coaches, and wellness brands. The same storytelling principles work across the board.”
When your site answers questions before people ask, you’ve turned a one-sided sales pitch into a conversation.
Ready to fix your website copy?
That’s exactly what I deliver in a Website Copy Audit.
You’ll get:
- A detailed PDF and Loom video breakdown of your entire site
- Suggested client stories that instantly build trust
- Headline fixes that grab attention in 3 seconds (TV news style)
- Call-to-action psychology that gets clicks
- Specific copy recommendations based on how people actually scan sites
- Quick wins you can implement this week
⚡️ 48-hour turnaround. Only 3 spots available each week.
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